My Cup Runneth Over

Vian is having lunch. I'm still making a plate for myself. He requests some water, so brought him a cup of water.

Vian: Appa, this is too watery. 

Me: I'm glad to hear that Vian. The water is supposed to be watery. 

Vian: No appa, I can't drink it.

Me: Why not?

Vian: Because it is too watery. 

I walked over to him to check it out. He was complaining because I filled the water to the brim and he couldn't drink out of it.

Me: I'm sorry Vian, I will fill it appropriately next time. 

Vian: Yeah appa, next time don't make it too watery.


Mom by any other name

It was a cold Sunday morning. Sempi doesn't want to leave the house. I'm trying to convince him to go out for family brunch. Yoshi is still getting ready.

Sempi: I don't want to go. I want to stay home and play legos.

Me: If you want to stay home, that's fine. I'm going out for brunch.

Sempi: Ok.

Me: I'm taking Vian with me.

Sempi: Ok, you can take Vian and I'll stay with Amma.

Me: Nope, I'm taking my wife with me. 

Sempi: Ugh! Appaaaa ...... Fine. We'll all go.

Me: Alright, hurry up and put on your shoes. 

Sempi: Hold on, let's wait for our wife.

Me: Hey! She's my wife, not our wife.

Sempi: Apppaaaa......

Answer Me!

It is no secret that both Sempi and Vian prefer their mom over me. Vian perceives me as the guy who lives in the same house and occasionally grabs him from his mom to change his diaper. 

If I happen to enter a room in which he is playing, he will preemptively declare "I don't need you, appa". Which is a wonderfully  heartwarming phrase to hear from your child. 

A couple of days ago, the entire family was in the living room. Yoshi was playing with the kids, I was working on my laptop. Yoshi stood up to leave the room, and Vian starts to get anxious. Yoshi reassures him that she'll be right back. I wasn't paying much attention to the surroundings as I was focused on my laptop. 

Vian says something to me. I half-heartedly acknowledge. Suddenly he yells at me, "APPA! Are you going to answer me?". I immediately sit straight, set aside my laptop and focus all of my attention to him. "I'm sorry, Vian. What were you saying, baby?". Vian replies "I was saying that I don't need you". 

Very well then, I'm glad you got my undivided attention to share that, <redacted expletive>.

I'm batman

Sempi's new obsession is playing police. Every chance he gets, he recruits me and Vian to play police. 


Sempi: Appa, let's play police. You can be the bad guy and I'll be police

Me: Ok! Vian, what are you going to be? A good guy or a bad guy?

Vian: I'm batman. 

Me: I see, so is batman a good guy or a bad guy? 

Vian: No appa, I'm batman. 

Me: Alrighty then. I'm glad we settled that.


Hot Cocoa

It is freezing outside. We bundle up and go out to explore. When we got back to our lodging it was warm and cozy. Yoshi decided to make everyone hot cocoa. 

She brings the cups of hot cocoa and the bag of marshmallows.

Yoshi: Vian, how old are you?

Vian: Two!

Yoshi: You can have 2 marshmallows for your hot chocolate.

Vian: Yay! (and proceeds to grab a handful of marshmallows and dumps it into his hot chocolate).

Ok Wiretap

We don't have any wiretap devices like Google Home or Amazon Echo at our house. So whenever we encounter on in the wild the kids get excited about talking to them. 

We went on a vacation where the AirBnB had a Google version of the wiretap. So Sempi requested it to tell him a story and was pleased with the results.

Vian decided that he will try his luck on this device. Pretty soon I heard him screaming:

"OK! DOODLE!" 

"OK! DOODLE!"

"OK! DOODLE!"

Poor kid, one of these days he will learn how to pronounce the "Ga" sound. 

What is your superpower?

Sempi is really into superheroes and police. The other day I was walking him to school and he tells me, 

Sempi: Appa, can I tell you a secret? 

Me: Yeah. 

Sempi (whispers): My secret identity is (redacted). 

Me: Wow, really? Why didn't you tell me sooner, I could have used your powers to crush the boxes in the recycling bins.

Sempi: You can't tell anyone. Well, maybe just amma, but no one else. 

Me: What about Vian? 

Sempi: He's too young, he might tell someone. Maybe when he grows up you can tell him. 

Me: Do you think when he grows up he'll also get superpowers? 

Sempi: Yeah. Even you have superpowers appa. You can be police.

Me: Really?

Sempi: Yeah, you can be police who stays indoors and we'll contact you for instructions when we're fighting bad guys. You know, since you're good with computers. 


*sniff* My son thinks I'm good with computers. It is the highest compliment I've received in my life.

Nice try, dad

Vian is still having trouble pronouncing the sound 'ka'. He uses the sound 'ta' when he tries to say 'ka'. See previous post for some examples. 

We're reading a picture book on the couch. 

Vian: What is this?

Me: That is a farm.

Vian: Farm!?

Vian: What is this?

Me: That's a chicken.

Vian: A Tciten? 

Me: Yeah a chicken. 

I noticed that his pronunciation of "Tciten" is suspiciously close to how he would pronounce "Kitchen". 

So I figured I'll take this opportunity to troll him using cognitive dissonance.

Me: Where is Amma?

Vian: Over there (points to Kitchen).

Me: What is that room called.

Vian: That's a "Titen".

Me: What is this called? (pointing to the chicken in a book). 

Vian stares at me a second while he figures out my trap.

Vian: It's a dut (duck). 

Once again I'm outsmarted by a two-year-old. Never been prouder. 

Conversations with a 3yo

We're visiting India and the kids are playing with my brother's son, Thiralon (the 3yo protagonist). He's a matter of fact guy who is unintentionally hilarious. 

---

The phone rings at home and Thiralon picks up the phone. It's his grandpa calling. 

Grandpa: Hi Thiralon, how are you? 

Thiralon: I'm fine.

Grandpa: What are you doing? 

Thiralon: Right now I'm talking to you on the phone. 

---

He's a rambunctious kid who loves to smash things. He has just smashed down a pillow fort. I'm trying to get him to admit he smashed it.

Me: Thiralon, what happened to the fort? 

Thiralon: It broke down.

Me: How did it break?

Thiralon: It broke with a kaboom! 

Me: LOL! Of course, it did. 

---

Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is

Vian is quite eloquent these days. But he still can't pronounce the sounds 'Ka' and 'Ga'. Instead, he replaces them with the sounds 'Ta' and 'Da' respectively.

Here are some choice selections: 

Vian: Appa, where is my tar (car)?

Vian: Tan I have a tootie (cookie)? 

Vian: Amma, gone to yoda (yoga) class. 


I always had a nagging suspicion that my wife is a Jedi. The way she can change my mind in one sentence....