Confidence of a 5yo

I don't know how to play Minecraft. Vian (5yo) decided he's going to educate me. We're now playing real-world Minecraft in the front yard without a computer. He's narrating various aspects of the game as he's walking around the front yard. A leather armor, iron ingot, wooden pickax, bedrock and so on. 

Then he delivers this pearl of wisdom. 

Vian: Here's a good tip. When you're in the game don't mess with me. I'm invincible and I can fly. 

Then proceeds to extol the virtues of bedrock and diamond pickax. 

Bejeezus

The kids like to scare me by trying to jump out from under the covers and yell "BOO!". I like to pretend that I'm scared of their tactics. The other day I decided to return the favor by suddenly entering their room and yelling "BOO!". I managed to scare Vian and he started giggling in fear and shrunk back under his comforter. 

Me: Hey Vian, looks like I scared the bejeezus out of you. 

Vian: No! No! I'm not scared. I don't even have any bejeezus, so you didn't really scare any bejeezus. 

Picture Day

Vian is back from school, wearing a button up shirt and slacks.

Me: Vian, you look dapper today. 

Vian: Yeah. Today was picture day.

Me: Oh yeah. Did you guys go out and take a picture?

Vian: No. It was just someone else taking the picture. I didn't take the picture.


Talking to my kids is the best way for me to realize how imprecise my communication is. 

What is your superpower?

Sempi is really into superheroes and police. The other day I was walking him to school and he tells me, 

Sempi: Appa, can I tell you a secret? 

Me: Yeah. 

Sempi (whispers): My secret identity is (redacted). 

Me: Wow, really? Why didn't you tell me sooner, I could have used your powers to crush the boxes in the recycling bins.

Sempi: You can't tell anyone. Well, maybe just amma, but no one else. 

Me: What about Vian? 

Sempi: He's too young, he might tell someone. Maybe when he grows up you can tell him. 

Me: Do you think when he grows up he'll also get superpowers? 

Sempi: Yeah. Even you have superpowers appa. You can be police.

Me: Really?

Sempi: Yeah, you can be police who stays indoors and we'll contact you for instructions when we're fighting bad guys. You know, since you're good with computers. 


*sniff* My son thinks I'm good with computers. It is the highest compliment I've received in my life.

Fun with dosas

I love dosas. Dosa is a south Indian dish. A better version of a crepe (shots fired) or a ridiculously thin pancake. Sempi (5yo) is also a huge fan. 

I'm making dosas for his breakfast and he requested that I make the dosas into shapes for him. He requested a police car. I was happy to oblige. 

Sempi: What is this?

Me: A police car. 

Sempi: It looks like a spaceship. Next time add some wheels to it.

Me: I'll see what I can do.