The Floss!

Dancing is in my blood.

Yoshi decides that the kids need to learn how to dance properly(?). So she starts teaching them "The Floss". Not to be outdone by her, I decide to show the kids how to do the Floss correctly.

As I start to get into the groove, Vian runs over and turns the light off, just as Yoshi remarks "Yeah, nobody needs to see that".

Tough crowd!

Tattling

Vian: Amma, the roomba is not cleaning anything.

Yoshi: Let me check.

She finds lego pieces and strings blocking the Roomba wheels.

Yoshi: Thank you, Vian. You're right it wasn't picking up anything.

Me: Vian, did you just tattle on Roomba to your mother?


Captain Underpants - Potty Adventures - 2

When we were in Italy, we visited the Ufizzi museum and saw a lot of old world statues. There was one statue of a warrior holding a shield in his hand. I told the kids that it is Captain Italy who happens to be the cousin of Captain America. Obviously, neither of them believed me and Sempi groaned at my lame joke.

Recently Vian started potty training. He's proud of wearing his underwear and strikes a pose every now and then.

Me: Vian you look like Captain Underpants.

Vian: No Appa. I'm like Captain Italy, remember.

Me: Haha. Was Captain Italy wearing underpants?

Vian: No Appa. Captain Italy was wearing his penis.

Of course, I forgot that the statue was naked. All the statues were naked.

Sorry!?

Vian and I are playing legos. I accidentally drop a lego piece from the table, we both bend down to get it and bonk our heads.

Me: I am sorry, Vian.
Vian: (rubbing his head) No appa, I am sorry.
Me: I guess we're both sorry. :)
Vian: No appa. I AM SAD, SO I AM SORRY (loudly).
Me: Ok. Ok you're sorry.


Potty Training Adventures - I

Vian is 3 years old which is the minimum age required in this family to be eligible for big boy underwear. So naturally, we started potty training him this week.

He's come a long way since Monday and it is going very well. He does get frustrated by the inconvenience of having to stop playing just to empty his bladder. This morning he declared "I need to wear diapers or else I'm not going to eat anymore!".

A hunger strike! I guess reading all those books about Gandhi is having an effect on him. 

Punch Line

I sometimes share clean adult jokes that are too clever for a 2 year old to grasp. Sometimes it is fun to see the confused look on his face when he sees me cracking up on my own jokes. Yes, I laugh at my own jokes, moving on.

We're hanging out at a coffee shop and I start with the setup for a great joke.

Me: Vian, did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?

Vian: What? They eat monkeys?

Me: LOL!! Way to ruin the punchline man.


Conversations with a 2 yo

We are at the dining table. I take out the croissant from the bag and place it on a plate in front of Vian.

Vian: Appa, what kind of "cossant" is it?

Me: It's a plain croissant, Vian.

Vian: No. It's a bum-bum "cossant".

Me: Huh?

Vian: Look it (pointing to his misshapen croissant that looks like a butt).

You win this round, Vian.

What do you say?

One of the ways we trained Sempi to say "Please" and "Thank you" is by asking him "What do you say?" after he receives a favor from someone. With that context in mind, this conversation happened in the car. 

Vian: Can I have that monster truck, Sempi?

Sempi: Here you go. 

Vian takes the truck. Sempi being the responsible older brother wants to teach Vian good manners. 

Sempi: What do you say, Vian? 

Vian: Vrooom, Vrooom.

Sempi just shakes his head and mumbles something that vaguely sounds like "Kids these days". 


My Cup Runneth Over

Vian is having lunch. I'm still making a plate for myself. He requests some water, so brought him a cup of water.

Vian: Appa, this is too watery. 

Me: I'm glad to hear that Vian. The water is supposed to be watery. 

Vian: No appa, I can't drink it.

Me: Why not?

Vian: Because it is too watery. 

I walked over to him to check it out. He was complaining because I filled the water to the brim and he couldn't drink out of it.

Me: I'm sorry Vian, I will fill it appropriately next time. 

Vian: Yeah appa, next time don't make it too watery.