Conversations with a 2 yo

We are at the dining table. I take out the croissant from the bag and place it on a plate in front of Vian.

Vian: Appa, what kind of "cossant" is it?

Me: It's a plain croissant, Vian.

Vian: No. It's a bum-bum "cossant".

Me: Huh?

Vian: Look it (pointing to his misshapen croissant that looks like a butt).

You win this round, Vian.

Manners my boy, manners

This happened a few weeks ago. The kids are having a funtime playing with their mom. I enter the room, which usually sets off the anxiety for Vian.

Vian: I don't need you, appa.

Yoshi: That's not very nice.

Vian: Go away, appa.

Yoshi: Can you say something nice to appa?

Vian: Appa, can you pleeease go away?

Me: Thank you! That's much better. 


What do you say?

One of the ways we trained Sempi to say "Please" and "Thank you" is by asking him "What do you say?" after he receives a favor from someone. With that context in mind, this conversation happened in the car. 

Vian: Can I have that monster truck, Sempi?

Sempi: Here you go. 

Vian takes the truck. Sempi being the responsible older brother wants to teach Vian good manners. 

Sempi: What do you say, Vian? 

Vian: Vrooom, Vrooom.

Sempi just shakes his head and mumbles something that vaguely sounds like "Kids these days". 


My Cup Runneth Over

Vian is having lunch. I'm still making a plate for myself. He requests some water, so brought him a cup of water.

Vian: Appa, this is too watery. 

Me: I'm glad to hear that Vian. The water is supposed to be watery. 

Vian: No appa, I can't drink it.

Me: Why not?

Vian: Because it is too watery. 

I walked over to him to check it out. He was complaining because I filled the water to the brim and he couldn't drink out of it.

Me: I'm sorry Vian, I will fill it appropriately next time. 

Vian: Yeah appa, next time don't make it too watery.


Answer Me!

It is no secret that both Sempi and Vian prefer their mom over me. Vian perceives me as the guy who lives in the same house and occasionally grabs him from his mom to change his diaper. 

If I happen to enter a room in which he is playing, he will preemptively declare "I don't need you, appa". Which is a wonderfully  heartwarming phrase to hear from your child. 

A couple of days ago, the entire family was in the living room. Yoshi was playing with the kids, I was working on my laptop. Yoshi stood up to leave the room, and Vian starts to get anxious. Yoshi reassures him that she'll be right back. I wasn't paying much attention to the surroundings as I was focused on my laptop. 

Vian says something to me. I half-heartedly acknowledge. Suddenly he yells at me, "APPA! Are you going to answer me?". I immediately sit straight, set aside my laptop and focus all of my attention to him. "I'm sorry, Vian. What were you saying, baby?". Vian replies "I was saying that I don't need you". 

Very well then, I'm glad you got my undivided attention to share that, <redacted expletive>.