Brain Spill

When we were in Italy, we visited the Ufizzi museum and saw a lot of old world statues. There was one statue of a warrior holding a shield in his hand. I told the kids that it is Captain Italy who happens to be the cousin of Captain America. Obviously, neither of them believed me and Sempi groaned at my lame joke.

Recently Vian started potty training. He's proud of wearing his underwear and strikes a pose every now and then.

Me: Vian you look like Captain Underpants.

Vian: No Appa. I'm like Captain Italy, remember.

Me: Haha. Was Captain Italy wearing underpants?

Vian: No Appa. Captain Italy was wearing his penis.

Of course, I forgot that the statue was naked. All the statues were naked.

Vian is 3 years old which is the minimum age required in this family to be eligible for big boy underwear. So naturally, we started potty training him this week.

He's come a long way since Monday and it is going very well. He does get frustrated by the inconvenience of having to stop playing just to empty his bladder. This morning he declared "I need to wear diapers or else I'm not going to eat anymore!".

A hunger strike! I guess reading all those books about Gandhi is having an effect on him. 

I sometimes share clean adult jokes that are too clever for a 2 year old to grasp. Sometimes it is fun to see the confused look on his face when he sees me cracking up on my own jokes. Yes, I laugh at my own jokes, moving on.

We're hanging out at a coffee shop and I start with the setup for a great joke.

Me: Vian, did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?

Vian: What? They eat monkeys?

Me: LOL!! Way to ruin the punchline man.

We are at the dining table. I take out the croissant from the bag and place it on a plate in front of Vian.

Vian: Appa, what kind of "cossant" is it?

Me: It's a plain croissant, Vian.

Vian: No. It's a bum-bum "cossant".

Me: Huh?

Vian: Look it (pointing to his misshapen croissant that looks like a butt).

You win this round, Vian.